Pop Quiz! What do you know about panda biology?

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“Um,” Grian coughs, batting leathery bamboo leaves away from his face, “Scar. You know I love you, and you know I tolerate the Jellies, but aren’t they a little… big? Even for retextured pandas, I mean.” He rubs one of the cats behind her ears, idly nibbling on a loaf of bread to combat fall damage from Scar… well. From Scar. 

Scar laughs, reaching up to pet one of the huge cats on her snout. “Nah, they just seem bigger, they’re not really. And besides! They’re all good girls aren’t they?” One of the Jellies lays down next to him, head in his lap. “Oh, baby,” he croons, “I know, I know, but I gotta get up. I need to do maintenance on the enclosure, hon.” He turns to Grian as he stands, leaning on his cane. “Do you want to hang out with the Jellies while I do maintenance or do you want me to show you what needs doing and then I watch them while you do hard stuff."

Grian stands as well, “I’d rather do the handy bits if that’s all cool with you. Sounds better than these beasts any day.”

“Alright, then, it’s really just- trim down the bamboo wherever you feel like it’s getting out of control, and if you wouldn’t mind sprucing up the logs, I feel like they could use some trap doors or half slabs or something. Just have at it if you feel like it, I trust your judgment.” He walks over to the walls lining the enclosure to gesture at their bare tops. A warm hand rests on Grian’s shoulder for a moment before Scar walks back to the Jellies and sits down among them once more. 

The bamboo is thick and hearty, and Grian takes a kind of sick pleasure in chopping large swaths of it down with a few sweeps of his axe. It takes longer than it feels like it really should, since he keeps having to move the Jellies out of his way, but it could be worse, he reckons. Most of them are crowded around near where Scar is. God only knows what he’s doing that has them so enraptured, but at least it means Grian doesn’t have to deal with them. Half slabs, he thinks, for the tops of the logs- but maybe not all of them. At least, not at first. The mangrove roots are probably fine as is, but for spruce logs… maybe dark oak trap doors? 

“Holy shit!” He hears, and he turns on a dime. Scar almost never curses, and when he does it can only mean something serious is happening. “Grian, get over here, one of the Jellies is having cubs!”

Cubs? Cubs ?! How is he only now finding out about this- he runs to where Scar and the Jellies are, and sure enough, one of the cats/pandas is lying on her back, and there’s something small and pink and- wet? emerging from what can only be her birth canal. Vagina? Grian’s not really sure what you call it on a panda. Or a cat, for that matter. Scar’s hovering near her, hands positioned just right so when the cub (kitten?) is born, it'll fall right into his hands. And then- all at once and also very slowly, the baby animal does just that. And then Scar is tucking it into his shirt pocket and guiding Grian’s hands to take his place.

“Pandas” (so they are pandas!) “tend to give birth to two cubs at a time, so you need to position yourself just-” (he’s pressed up solid against Grian’s back, steady hands guiding Grian’s to where he needs to be.) “-so. To catch the next one.” Wait. Reel that back a sec.

”To catch the next one?” Grian asks, voice shriller than he’s really proud of. “What do you mean, to catch the next one?” 

“Well. A cub is going to be born. And you’re going to catch it.” That is really not what Grian was hoping to hear but you know what! Screw it! Fork it, even! He’s fine, he’s so, totally fine and cool and chill- and then a panda/cat cub is in his hands and it’s sticky and wet and oh, god, he’s gonna throw up. He’s gonna throw up!

He gives the cub to Scar, walks a few steps away, and takes a few deep breaths. When he turns around, his soulmate is holding two tiny pink things out to the mother Jellie, and he is overcome.

“Hey Scar,” he asks, “Why did she only take one of them? Aren’t they both her cubs?'
Scar sighs. “Well, pandas- and, unfortunately, therefore Jellies- have a tendency to only care for the bigger twin, the one most likely to survive. This one will have to be fostered. Either with us, if you’d be amenable, or with another Jellie.”

And, well, what can he say? Grian is overcome. “We should foster her. Another panda wouldn’t be a guarantee, right? They might not take her?” 
“No,” Scar says, smiling softly at their new daughter. “They might abandon her too- fitting, maybe, for a death game, but. Sad, isn’t it?”

It is sad. And maybe that’s why Grian’s so sure, or maybe the image of Scar and this little baby is just too cute to refuse, but he can’t quite bring himself to regret it. It’s a bad idea for sure- even aside from the fact that they’re kind of in the middle of a death game at the moment, they are far from ideal parents. They tend to antagonize each other beyond what’s necessarily an ideal environment for a child, and, well. Double Life is a no holds barred fight to the death. But when they tuck her into bed that night, it’s almost like nothing can touch them. Red names and alliances and danger can wait for the morning- for now, there is peace at the Red Velvet Keep. At least, there is for now.